Today my total food consumption has been:
1. A bag of buttery-style popcorn.
2. Some cold cuts from Weaver Street Market.
3. A "rustic roll" from Weaver Street Market.
4. A hunk of cheese from Weaver Street Market.
5. A fuckload of gum. Like three packs of Trident.
I got most of this sort of late in the day (around 4ish), and I have to say, I was cranky. And depressed. I get like that when I don't eat. I don't have a good reason for this, though. As far as I know, I'm not diabetic, so I can't whine about having low BG*, and I haven't got an eating disorder. Psychological trauma from past starvation experiences is also ruled out, as I've been firmly middle class my whole life. Am I just a whiner? I know I naturally tend to be negative (last night, I even got the old "You're so judgemental of everything" line--this is true for music and movies and sometimes certain fashionable people), but I think that I've more or less trained myself to be pleasant.
But maybe I am an asshole. At least when I'm hungry. I distinctly remember the following thoughts going through my head today:
1. "Why do your friends hang out with you in the first place?"
2. "Just do one thing right today, Joe. One thing."
Both of these thoughts are ridiculous and I'm embarrassed for having them. Not because I do things right, or because I'm so awesome to be around, the jury is still out on both, punching each other and stringing up the foreman and ordering the bailiff to fetch them a whole case of lemonades to drink while they deliberate. Thinking like this automatically makes me Bitchopotron, Grand High Bitch-peror of the Bitch Dimension. These are also stupid thoughts because I couldn't count how many things are worse than being hungry and cranky.
I'm only going to mention Darfur this once, because everyone knows that living in Darfur is bad. Here are some things that are worse than being hungry but not as bad as living in Darfur:
1. A mudslide.
2. The Parmalat Scandal. This was in the news this morning!
3. A relative being angry with you (sorry, I couldn't find a Wikipedia article about this).
4. The pitiful showing by the Cavs in the NBA Finals. This is ridiculous. As much as it chagrins me to admit this, Tim Duncan is unstoppable, the Spurs are good, and LeBron is not there.
Christ, that's frustrating.
*Blood glucose. That's diabetic jargon that I learned from my pops.